to be far is torture, but to be near is even greater torture, though interspersed with bursts of joy.

so what is a girl to do?

i want to be a nomad. the lights have grown dim. the air too heavy. i feel like i'm shaking a dead heart, trying to get it to feel again.

i like being uninvolved in places. being there, but yet not being part of it. i'm too involved here. and it bugs me. over there, when people piss me off, i can just brush it off as stupid behaviour of other people. here, its my people. and sometimes its just too much.